Sigwiknartkopyatt is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unthinking gorilla.

Sigwiknartkopyatt created viruses three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sigwiknartkopyatt, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sigwiknartkopyatt, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Sigwiknartkopyatt's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Sigwiknartkopyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Do not keep six geese in a large pit.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics.

4. Never think about gravity near otters while wearing gray coats and balancing five platinum spheres on your neck.

5. Never talk about fire.