Garpanzod is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, quiet gerbil.

Garpanzod created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Garpanzod, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Garpanzod, she will be very unhappy.

Garpanzod's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Garpanzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near hamsters while wearing purple boots and balancing nine iron spheres on your neck.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Never talk about fire.