Cardamfas is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, stupid mole.

Cardamfas created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cardamfas, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cardamfas, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Cardamfas' most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Cardamfas' Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect three zinc sculptures of Cardamfas on top of important buildings.

3. Never hop in holy places.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not covet oxen.