Zimdusswon is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, calm mongoose.

Zimdusswon created water two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimdusswon, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zimdusswon, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Zimdusswon's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Zimdusswon's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

2. You must pray to Zimdusswon four times a day.

3. Always treat doves with great respect.

4. Never think about chromosomes.

5. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Zimdusswon in the centre of the settlement.