Flowyogmit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, unthoughtful hamster.

Flowyogmit created Africa two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flowyogmit, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flowyogmit, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Flowyogmit's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Flowyogmit's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

2. Hide from pink tapirs for they are unholy.

3. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Flowyogmit in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

5. Do not listen to music.