Dumflabnar is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, merciless fish.

Dumflabnar created everything that exists three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumflabnar, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dumflabnar, she will come to you in dreams.

Dumflabnar's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Dumflabnar's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not trade with those who eat melons.