Tomhogyat is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, fussy hummingbird.

Tomhogyat created a charm quark two years ago.

If you believe in Tomhogyat, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tomhogyat, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tomhogyat's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Tomhogyat's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.