Bongessrig is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, proud hummingbird.

Bongessrig created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bongessrig, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bongessrig, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bongessrig's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bongessrig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair black.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Run away from violet aardvarks, for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

5. Never talk about chromosomes.