Bongessrig is a god.
He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, proud
hummingbird.
Bongessrig created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Bongessrig, he will celebrate by creating some planets.
If you do not believe in
Bongessrig, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.
Bongessrig's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.
Bongessrig's Holy Commandments1. Do not dye your hair black.
2. Never pour water over plants.
3. Run away from violet aardvarks, for they are unholy.
4. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.
5. Never talk about chromosomes.