Hasbenapp is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, uncaring yak.

Hasbenapp created an electron two million years ago.

If you believe in Hasbenapp, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hasbenapp, it will turn you into a worm.

Hasbenapp's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Hasbenapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt squirrels.

2. Never think ill of sick swans.

3. Do not drink water in white rooms.

4. Never look at dwarf planets.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.