Gessdambass is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, compassionate ant.

Gessdambass created an electron seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessdambass, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Gessdambass, he will turn you into a rock.

Gessdambass' most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Gessdambass' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Never write about archaea.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. You must love Gessdambass.