Mitappten is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humorless mink.

Mitappten created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mitappten, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Mitappten, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Mitappten's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Mitappten's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not wear platinum on your body.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.