Tikgatfot is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, two-faced narwhal.

Tikgatfot created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikgatfot, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tikgatfot, she will ignore you.

Tikgatfot's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Tikgatfot's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Tikgatfot in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not eat coconuts.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.