Komsanlab is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, all-knowing narwhal.

Komsanlab created the planet Saturn nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Komsanlab, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Komsanlab, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Komsanlab's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Komsanlab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about wheat.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about spacetime.