Flaptamliknar is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, grumpy aardvark.

Flaptamliknar created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flaptamliknar, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flaptamliknar, she will destroy your home solar system.

Flaptamliknar's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Flaptamliknar's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

2. Never skip in the presence of mites.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not make images of living things.