Artgarfadquamvabminfumfun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, contented badger.

Artgarfadquamvabminfumfun created the universe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Artgarfadquamvabminfumfun, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Artgarfadquamvabminfumfun, he will throw large rocks at you.

Artgarfadquamvabminfumfun's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Artgarfadquamvabminfumfun's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Never write about electromagnetism.

3. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

4. Never eat turnips.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.