Zenbagmab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, cheerful goblin.

Zenbagmab created a top quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Zenbagmab, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zenbagmab, it will be mildly annoyed.

Zenbagmab's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Zenbagmab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help bats.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

4. Do not take Zenbagmab's name in vain.

5. Do not keep eight sheep in a large pit.