Vagzenwodvagkop is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, stupid dugong.

Vagzenwodvagkop created carbon five million years ago.

If you believe in Vagzenwodvagkop, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vagzenwodvagkop, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Vagzenwodvagkop's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Vagzenwodvagkop's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured goats.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not wear brown clothing.