Queegsittonk is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humorless capybara.

Queegsittonk created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Queegsittonk, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Queegsittonk, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Queegsittonk's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Queegsittonk's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think about nucleic acids.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always stare at clouds.