Gidquimcubappsatxen is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, impressive cow.

Gidquimcubappsatxen created Mount Everest three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gidquimcubappsatxen, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gidquimcubappsatxen, it will turn you into a sheep.

Gidquimcubappsatxen's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Gidquimcubappsatxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never chant in the presence of shrews.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near bats while wearing blue corsets and balancing six titanium spheres on your neck.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never talk about fire.