Dunparkpop is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, all-powerful bear.

Dunparkpop created humanity two million years ago.

If you believe in Dunparkpop, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dunparkpop, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dunparkpop's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Dunparkpop's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. You must pray to Dunparkpop eight times a day.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics.

4. Never laugh in the presence of swans.

5. Always obey Dunparkpop's priests.