Jopnelgil is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, kind swan.

Jopnelgil created the Sombrero Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jopnelgil, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jopnelgil, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Jopnelgil's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Jopnelgil's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

4. Never feed oranges to snakes while wearing hats.

5. Never eat grapes.