Kanlagjab is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, benevolent weasel.

Kanlagjab created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Kanlagjab, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kanlagjab, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Kanlagjab's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Kanlagjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt doves.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not keep six whales in a large pit.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never wear rings.