Doggidquartdamvog is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, unthinking eagle.

Doggidquartdamvog created silver nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Doggidquartdamvog, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Doggidquartdamvog, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Doggidquartdamvog's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Doggidquartdamvog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Always look after injured mites.

3. Erect eight tin sculptures of Doggidquartdamvog on top of important buildings.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.