Jiplarpwot is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unthoughtful bear.

Jiplarpwot created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jiplarpwot, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jiplarpwot, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Jiplarpwot's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Jiplarpwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in white rooms.

2. Never bounce in the presence of cats.

3. You must pray to Jiplarpwot nine times a day.

4. Always help sick shrews.

5. Always look after injured voles.