Liksomben is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, strong cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Liksomben created an up quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Liksomben, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Liksomben, she will turn you into a tree.

Liksomben's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Liksomben's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt manatees.

2. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

3. Never feed grapes to turtles while wearing tights.

4. Never wear rings.

5. Snails are not to be trusted.