Higpangwab is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, dishonourable fish.

Higpangwab created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Higpangwab, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Higpangwab, she will turn you into a slug.

Higpangwab's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Higpangwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near mice while wearing orange boots.

3. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

4. Feed all hungry sharks.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.