Ripbaplat Wipsasrul is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, charitable coyote.

Ripbaplat Wipsasrul created energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripbaplat Wipsasrul, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ripbaplat Wipsasrul, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Ripbaplat Wipsasrul's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Ripbaplat Wipsasrul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

2. Never talk about chromosomes.

3. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near snails while wearing cyan ear rings.

5. Hide if five sheep approach from the south.