Fitpakbin Jenbuttetti is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, omnipotent crane.

Fitpakbin Jenbuttetti created viruses three million years ago.

If you believe in Fitpakbin Jenbuttetti, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fitpakbin Jenbuttetti, it will destroy your favourite star.

Fitpakbin Jenbuttetti's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Fitpakbin Jenbuttetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Feed all hungry seals.

5. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.