Cumkaptip is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, moody goat.

Cumkaptip created the Black Eye Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumkaptip, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cumkaptip, it will destroy your home solar system.

Cumkaptip's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Cumkaptip's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peanuts.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never wear fawn shirts.

4. Never go into yellow rooms.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics.