Wabquagarm is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, unsympathetic mink.

Wabquagarm created the planet Mars three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabquagarm, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Wabquagarm, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Wabquagarm's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Wabquagarm's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Wabquagarm loves goats, so they must be honoured.

3. Always look after injured aardvarks.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. You must love Wabquagarm.