Titsogtad is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unsympathetic whale.

Titsogtad created the Andromeda Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Titsogtad, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Titsogtad, he will turn you into a rock.

Titsogtad's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Titsogtad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near dolphins while wearing mauve kilts and balancing five nickel spheres on your neck.

2. You must pray to Titsogtad eight times a day.

3. Worship no other gods but Titsogtad.

4. Voles are not to be trusted.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.