Fatfod is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, loving mole.

Fatfod created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatfod, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fatfod, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fatfod's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Fatfod's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Fatfod loves cats, so they must be honoured.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.