Tontonkfatarpzaglig is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, weak shark.

Tontonkfatarpzaglig created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tontonkfatarpzaglig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tontonkfatarpzaglig, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tontonkfatarpzaglig's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Tontonkfatarpzaglig's Holy Commandments

1. Snails are not to be trusted.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. You must love Tontonkfatarpzaglig.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.