Beghadlun is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, thoughtless porpoise.

Beghadlun created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Beghadlun, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Beghadlun, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Beghadlun's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Beghadlun's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always look after injured pigs.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not cook food in pots.