Getwapkab is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, sage fairy.

Getwapkab created the Sun three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Getwapkab, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Getwapkab, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Getwapkab's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Getwapkab's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.