Kankonpas is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonourable meerkat.

Kankonpas created everything that exists two million years ago.

If you believe in Kankonpas, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kankonpas, it will turn you into a mole.

Kankonpas' most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Kankonpas' Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.