Nutmilgat Tamrotbeg Jadkikveg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, blissful narwhal.

Nutmilgat Tamrotbeg Jadkikveg created the Andromeda Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutmilgat Tamrotbeg Jadkikveg, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nutmilgat Tamrotbeg Jadkikveg, it will laugh at you.

Nutmilgat Tamrotbeg Jadkikveg's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Nutmilgat Tamrotbeg Jadkikveg's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not hurt grasshopers.

3. Always help mice.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Put Nutmilgat Tamrotbeg Jadkikveg first in all things.