Lipgunfig is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, quiet crab.

Lipgunfig created vertebrates six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipgunfig, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lipgunfig, it will jump up and down on your head.

Lipgunfig's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Lipgunfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peas.

2. Never think about gravity near rats while wearing blue scarves and balancing five titanium spheres on your arms.

3. Put Lipgunfig first in all things.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never hurt shrews.