Yarpnakwab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, self-confident turtle.

Yarpnakwab created the Sunflower Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpnakwab, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yarpnakwab, he will be very unhappy.

Yarpnakwab's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Yarpnakwab's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Yarpnakwab.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always look after injured dolphins.

4. Always help nematodes in need.

5. Never write about dwarf planets.