Bossisbin is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, overgenerous hydra.

Bossisbin created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bossisbin, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bossisbin, he will turn you into a plant.

Bossisbin's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Bossisbin's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Bossisbin's priests.

2. Do not take Bossisbin's name in vain.

3. Never mention birds.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Always help manatees.