Yartlapdit is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, all-powerful wasp.

Yartlapdit created silver seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartlapdit, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yartlapdit, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Yartlapdit's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Yartlapdit's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry manatees.

2. Retreat if five pigs approach from the east.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not listen to music.