Lanfubflag is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, cheerful giraffe.

Lanfubflag created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanfubflag, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lanfubflag, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lanfubflag's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Lanfubflag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Lanfubflag in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near frogs while wearing violet coats and balancing six silver spheres on your back.

3. Always wear fawn.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never talk about fire.