Jadjamarp is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, overgenerous beaver.

Jadjamarp created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadjamarp, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jadjamarp, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Jadjamarp's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Jadjamarp's Holy Commandments

1. Turtles are not to be trusted.

2. Retreat if eight birds approach from the west.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think about chlorophyll.