Tettilegtun is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, self-confident sheep.

Tettilegtun created the Large Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettilegtun, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tettilegtun, he will have a low opinion of you.

Tettilegtun's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Tettilegtun's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about optics.

2. Never talk about dark energy near bats while wearing purple shoes and balancing three titanium spheres on your legs.

3. Do not take Tettilegtun's name in vain.

4. Never wear turquoise scarves.

5. Tettilegtun must be the most important thing in your life.