Sisjadyart Labbafnib is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, fast narwhal.

Sisjadyart Labbafnib created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sisjadyart Labbafnib, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sisjadyart Labbafnib, he will come to you in dreams.

Sisjadyart Labbafnib's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Sisjadyart Labbafnib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Never write about chlorophyll.

5. Never look at moons.