Gupwontig is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, almighty lion.

Gupwontig created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gupwontig, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gupwontig, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gupwontig's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Gupwontig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

4. Do not eat pineapples.

5. You must love Gupwontig.