Tinxuccab is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, self-assured goblin.

Tinxuccab created Asia four million years ago.

If you believe in Tinxuccab, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tinxuccab, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tinxuccab's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tinxuccab's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

5. Never wear mauve coats.