Hadflyfot is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, deceitful donkey.

Hadflyfot created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hadflyfot, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hadflyfot, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hadflyfot's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Hadflyfot's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from black eagles, for they are unholy.

2. Do not kill great tits.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never wear turquoise trousers.

5. Never talk about asteroids.