Dotdudjad Rillcutart is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, intelligent squirrel.

Dotdudjad Rillcutart created Europe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dotdudjad Rillcutart, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dotdudjad Rillcutart, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Dotdudjad Rillcutart's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Dotdudjad Rillcutart's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never feed lots of apples to cats while wearing magenta jumpers.

3. Never write about dark matter.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.