Babgatxem is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, egotistical fairy.

Babgatxem created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Babgatxem, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Babgatxem, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Babgatxem's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Babgatxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed apples to otters while wearing white shorts.

2. Hide from cyan porpoises for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always look after injured rats.

5. Never pour water over plants.